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I Hate Country
by VorteX


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This page has been accessed times since February 2nd 1997

If you haven't noticed the change of Yee Haw then you are either one of two things:

1.) blind

2.) stupid.

I have added a couple of new things that haven't been on this site before. Before I tell you all about the cool new stuff I have to explain where this crazy page came from.

Do you hate Country Music? Then join me on my crusade to end the madness and stop the brainwashing. I didn't wake up one day and say "Gee, I want to make a web page that makes fun of a 'music' type." What especially do I hate about country "music" you might ask. I dislike the people who typically listen to country. Now this doesn't mean that I hate you if you do like country, so don't come and hunt me. You can tell how bad a type of music is when the target audience likes to fight over what kind of truck they have (i.e. Ford vs. Chevy). I have been tormented by so many of these yokels in my school, in my fine town and even my neighbors, who like to play it loud. I went to homecoming last year and people were linedancing. I started to laugh in disbelief, it wasn't enough that they all drive trucks and chew tobacco, but they have to linedance at homecoming. It's not because I live in a rural hick town, I live in Kalamazoo, but it's the little rural hick towns around Kalamazoo. That's where the hicks come from. I wonder about my peers when all they do in class is dream about one day owning an off-road vehicle and some nice boots. On hat day some people wear camoflage hunting hats (you know the annoying orange ones!) The bathroom graffiti is not the normal graffiti, but is picture perfect drawings of Ford and Chevy emblems and tins of Kodiac. They sit in class and treat the women like dirt. They wear those stupid shirts with dogs on them that you find at Wal-Mart. They ride in some crappy old truck (complete with Calvin peeing on a truck emblem sticker) while blasting Alan Jackson, Garth Brooks or Tim McGraw. They have the belt buckles with the entire United States map on them and a diagram of which kind of deer lives where. I could go on forever but you didn't come here to read my complaints, now did you?

Now, back to the new stuff...the first is a section called mail time that will let me publish online what people send me both good and bad. An offspring of this will be the stories that people have sent in. The third will be what is a favorite for many and that is the sounds, as provided by Allen. This is no longer a one page site. This is the central home and what was on one page before will now be on many. This shortens the load time and makes it more professional.

Let's go into why I don't like country "music". Isn't it obvious? To make this page more interactive I'll let you choose.

Country sucks because...

A:) When half of the people think that the "mullet" is a cool and hip fashion statement are the musicians themselves.

B:) Two words: Boot Scootin'

C:) Sad country songs are about a man losing his truck.

D:) Happy country songs are about a man catching the big deer.

E:) The people who go to country concerts think it's worth dressing up for so they put on the nice camoflage cartharts.

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